Just a thought...

I have often heard people say 'You made your choice, now you have to live with it!'... But the older I get, the more I learn about life, the more I doubt the accuracy of such a statement.

For example, if I chose to be a dustbin man in my teenage years, should I always live with it? Or what if I did drugs and became a drug addict, does that mean I should just accept the fact that I am hooked on drugs? After all that was my choice.

Such a statement leaves a very bleak picture for the ability we have to make a better future for ourselves. Perhaps a more accurate sentiment would be to say that we have to live with the consequences of our choices, but we do not have to live with our choices.

If I make a poor decision in my life, it is within my power to make another choice. A better choice. Or at least I hope it will be a better choice.

Changing your mind, admitting that you made a poor decision however requires courage. It takes a brave person to admit they were wrong, and it takes a strong person to try and change the path of their life.

London riots: 2011 and Beyond

Over the past few days London has been rocked by scenes of rioting, but unlike other riots in recent memory, this has not been localized. It has been wide spread, and the rioters have been many in number. But what has caused this wide spread malcontent far and wide across London.

Initially the riots began in Tottenham, after a protest in which another black man dies in Police presence under suspicious circumstances, but it is unlikely that a large number of the rioters were friends with this young black man or were associated with him in any way. So why would they take to the streets in the manner that they have, and why was it not immediately after his death?

It is my belief that the treatment of the protesters was the straw that broke the proverbial camel's back. Still reeling from the death of Smiley Culture in police custody, and not believing the official line that he committed suicide, yet another black man dies shortly after and his family are not being given clear answers or information regarding what happened. When there is a peaceful gathering outside of the police station to protest the treatment of this family, the police then respond in a heavy handed manner and thus throw a lit match onto the volatile combination of suspicion, mistreatment, poverty and injustice - both social and legal. And it is perhaps the latter of these ingredients that can address why the unrest has spread so far and into so many different communities in London.

Due to the recent government cuts, Haringey Council has seen its youth services budget slashed by 75%. Given nothing to do, and no where to go to have questions answered or their views heard, resentment and frustration was bound to grow, and it was a matter of time before it was expressed. That it was expressed with such destruction and vehemence should serve as a wake up call to the government that the social repercussions of making cuts in the manner they have done will only alienate youth and minorities in a similar manner to that of the 1980's. There is a burning question in many peoples minds as to where the parents of these youths are, and although I cannot answer that, I will say that in the growing poverty and hardships that many are facing, they are possibly working two and three jobs just to make ends meet. In 2008-09 22% of the British population was living below the poverty threshold with a greater proportion of those in Inner London in the low income bracket. Government cuts have placed an even greater strain on families and support services aimed at assisting those that need help the most.

A crucial factor in this I believe is the recent wide spread vilification of the police in the media and in the halls of Westminster, for their role in the phone hacking debacle. The fact that the wide spread corruption has now been outed, it only reinforces in the minds of youths and minorities that they cannot trust those that are supposedly meant to protect them. No matter how much the Metropolitan Police may talk about a few bad apples among their ranks, the truth is their image and reputation has not been tarnished as much as it has been completely destroyed. In the wake of the McPherson report the Police force was found to be institutionally racist, an accusation they could in large parts claim ignorance to. But to now be found not just institutionally racist but also knowingly and willingly corrupt is a wound that may be so great, that among ethnic minorities, the Metropolitan Police may never recover from.

In large parts the Government of the day has also played its part in encouraging these riots. (In Egypt, in Syria, in Libya, William Hague calls them protesters, but in the UK they are known as rioters). By encouraging people to rise up against a government that is un-elected and refuses to listen to the people, the British government has only itself planted the seeds of revolt in the minds of its own people. The current coalition government that finds itself in power in Britain is not elected, and for an example of refusing to listen to the will of the people one need think back no further than December 2010 and the student protests and the heavy handed crackdown and response to them. There will be those that say that the circumstances are different, because people's lives are not at risk, well that is clearly not true, and further to the black men that have died at the hands of the police, think Ian Tomlinson.

This is only a brief outline of some of the possible reasons for the events taking place in London today, but it is by no means an attempt to diminish the suffering that many people have had to endure, and sadly will endure because of these riots. I only say with regret that I do not believe this to be the end of the riots as the systems and policies that gave rise to such discontent still endure.

One Terrorist Down... Only Bush and Blair to go!

So Osama Bin Laden is dead and there is great rejoicing and celebrations through out the United States. Am I the only one a little disturbed and disgusted at these actions and the hypocrisy of this nation of war mongers?

The flag of the United States of America is burned, or one of their soldiers is killed and as a nation they are shocked at the uncivilized behavior as some people dance in the streets and cheer, and yet they do the same over the death of a human being?

"But he was a terrorist!" you say. "He was an evil man!" I hear you cry.

But was he?

In the West, we supposedly believe in a concept of due process; of being innocent until found guilty by a jury of our peers, and on that basis I say that Bin Laden has gone to his grave innocent in the eyes of man no matter how guilty he may be before the throne of God. The nations in which he masterminded attacks, we robbed of the opportunity to find him guilty in their courts by the self serving, selfish and arrogant actions of the United States.

I am also concerned about the manner in which he died. A single bullet to the head. That was an execution carried out without course for appeal to the sentence, and yet the claim goes out that justice has been done. This was not justice. This was murder.

Murder carried out in another country by American Special Forces that did not give the government of a sovereign nation forewarning that they were carrying out an operation on their soil. Could the arrogance of the USA be any more apparent? All they need to do is change the motto on their crest to "We do what we like, how we like, and when we like.". Or perhaps more appropriate they could redesign their flag and just put a hand on it, middle finger extended and underneath the slogan "**** you".

Perhaps the more worrying issue in all of this is that instead of becoming more secure, the threat of terrorism has only increased. Or that is what we have been told in the media and by governments. Is this the precursor to an excuse to sending ground troops into Libya? I would not be surprised if it were. The announcement of Bin Laden's death has come at a time where interest in the 'war on terror' was waning, where economic crisis has gripped the world and when the pressure on the need to secure natural resources (oil) is increasing. By destabilizing the Middle East, the Western nations have given themselves a reason to invade by claiming they are just going to 'aid in stabilizing the region'.

With this in mind, I have to ask who is the real terrorist?

Osama Bin Laden is dead, and millions of people are wondering when their country is going to be invaded. They live in fear that their countries will be cast into war due to the meddling of Western nations... And those in Western nations live in fear of a terrorist attack due to the actions of their governments. So once again who is the real terrorist? Bin Laden is dead and we are still living in terror, so was he the real cause of the problem or is there a need to look closer to home.

Shoot the messenger

It seems every time I turn on the TV I am hearing that Libya is in crisis, but what I see is the population rising up and saying they are not happy with their current system of governance. As I am not Libyan I will not comment on whether it is right or wrong, or whether it is fair, but as someone who lives in the Western world, I am left wondering why there was no threat of NATO troops invading Britain in December 2010.

Tony Blair, the ex British Prime Minister has condemned the actions of Colonel Ghaddafi's troops in quashing what he, as the leader of the country views as an uprising and has allegedly threatened the use of force in Libya. David Cameron has condemned the Libyan governments actions and called their actions 'untolerable'. He went further to say that 'brutality and intimidation will not be tolerated'.

Oh really Mr Cameron?

So how do you justify the actions of the police force in Britain during the student protests of 2010? Beatings, hospitalizations, intimidation were all used against student protestors, and yet no charge was brought against any police officer.

Where was the threat of NATO forces in Rwanda? Did they go into Egypt recently? Tunisia perhaps? Or were they dissuaded from action in these countries due to the lack of oil reserves to be found there?

There may be human rights abuses taking place in Libya, but no more so than those that take place in Israel every day. Has NATO invaded Jerusalem? Far from it. And what about UN sanctions imposed on Israel because of their actions? Well yes, there are some, but they have been flaunted and disregarded but unlike with Iraq, there has been no international invasion and regime change.

But then there was no oil at stake.

Tony Blair, is an man of evil actions even if his intentions are good. What is that old adage, 'The path to hell is often paved with good intentions'? Blair supported and facilitated the invasion of Iraq with at best questionable information, and now that he is currently functioning in the role of a Middle East Peace Envoy, he is actually proving to be a harbinger of doom.

They say don't shoot the messenger, but in future, Arab leaders may find it just that bit safer to do so.

Cleanin out my closet

IN my wardrobe hangs a waistcoat. I haven't worn it in years, although I would like to. I sometimes look at it and think maybe I would like to put it on and wear it. Roll back the years. But the truth is, I have probably outgrown it, and no matter how much I might look back on it wistfully wishing I could once again slip into it... the truth is I am highly unlikely to do so.

And still, no matter how many times I clear out my wardrobe, this waist coast remains. I move house, this waist coat remains. I have realised somethings in life, no matter what happens you will never let go, and will always remain in your possession.

And so it is with people in life.

Shades of Gray

This week there has been a lot of talk about Andy Gray and Richard Keys, and the sexist comments they have made. I think I should add my two pence to the argument.

Andy Gray was wrong to say that Miss Massey did not know the offside rule, although the sentiment that most women do not know the offside rule is true. It is highly unlikely that she would have made it to her postion as linesma.... Sorry 'Assistant Referee', if she is not aware of the rules. That said, Howard Webb made it to his position as a referee and he doesn't seem to be aware of any other rule other than Man U must win.

However, Andy Gray's clip on camera where he makes sexual innuendo's which are totally inappropriate to a female colleage are enough to get him sacked on their own, and it was right that he was fired. He lacked the class to walk on his own accord, which would have been the honorable thing to do, and it is only right that he is left with what he counts as a 'reputation' in tatters.

I have heard mutterings from people that women say far more demeaning stuff about men and yet they are not forced to resign from their positions, and although this is not true, let us suppose for a minute it is; is this really that much different from servants talking behind the back of unjust masters?

Yes. I did go there. No matter how we wish to look at it, women are still disadvantaged in the work place when compared to their male counterparts. Women are still disadvantaged in many areas of society when it comes to their male counterparts. Women are still in many ways disadvantaged in the home when it comes to their male counterparts. And this is by no means to say that the law has everything right, because the complete opposite is true when it comes to children and paternal custody, but even this is steeped in the idea that women are better as homemakers than bread winners, and in some ways disadvantages them further.

I do not believe that this whole episode is a matter of political correctness gone wrong, but political correctness at its best.

Andy Gray and Richard Keys speak their opinions, no matter how idiotic (and they almost always are idiotic) to millions of people every week who for some reason take what they say as the gospel truth. Regardless of the fact that they thought they were making these remarks privately, in a studion anything can happen, and they should have been aware of this. They should also be aware of the impact of their opinions on the people that tune in to watch football but fail to mute their TV's. It sends out a negative message to women, it reinforces negative stereotypes of women in men, and it perpetuates the cycle.

I for one am glad to see women officials at mens sporting venues.

I look forward to the day when women also compete in the same sporting event and earn the same amount of money.

If only so I can here them complain that its not fair and the men are stronger, faster and more aggressive than they are.

You can't have your cake and eat it love...

Now run along and bring us a cuppa

The Pursuit of Happiness

Ask me what I want to be in life, and the answer you will invariably get back is, "To be happy!". It is my standard response, and the answer I believe to be the most accurate and truthful I can give, but I am now beginning to wonder if it is truly attainable, and if so, at what cost?

It is natural in life that we all want things, whether it be a nice house or a good job; to travel the world or settle down with a family. None of these things are wrong or bad, but what I am realising is that not all of the things I want in life are compatible with each other. It seems that with each dream comes a responsibility or worse still, consequences that will impact on other targets you have set in life. As a result, sometimes we just have to accept that we just can't have it all.

As things go, I think I am a pretty straight forward, simple and easy person to please, but as I sat down and thought about some of things I wanted in life, I realised that they were not always compatible with each other. For example, how does my love to travel marry to the fact that I have always wanted to have children and a family? For clarification, travel to me is not defined as a two week holiday lying on a beach somewhere. It requires a backpack, and sometimes taking the off beaten tracks; going where few people go and getting at the heart of the community and culture of a place. It requires immersion in the local community and culture and as such takes time. Such excursions are not suitable for young children. In the pursuit of my happiness do I just leave and do it? Or do I consider the happiness of others; a son who will miss his father, a wife who will miss her husband, a mother who will miss her son?

There are many other contradictory dreams that I have. I even have some dreams that are not contradictory but I do not pursue just because I know the impact that they will have on others. This realisation has forced me to rethink the concept of happiness and the pursuit of it.

Happiness is not hedonism.

Ones pleasures in life will almost always come at the cost of someone else. The promotion at work, the courtside tickets, the lottery win, even right down to the woman/man that you love, will come at the cost of someone elses ambitions, hopes, dreams or desires. With this in mind, the concept of happiness originating from what I personally gain slowly drops away, and the more I find happiness in what others gain.

That does not mean I stop wanting or dreaming for things, but it does mean that when I get the things that I truly want, I understand that the true value of them is not simply measured by what I have gained, it also measured by what others have lost.

Fly away...

"If you ever want something badly, let it go. If it comes back to you, then it's yours forever. If it doesn't, then it was never yours to begin with."

That quote is taken from the movie 'Indecent Proposal' and Diana (played by Demi Moore) has split up with her husband due to them both making a mistake. It is a line I have thought about over a number of years now, and I am not sure I can agree with it.

I guess the first issue I take with it is that surely if you really wanted something, or someone so badly you would fight for them. Just to show you how ludicris this statement is, imagine you had a Rolex. A truly pimped out Rolex. Diamonds in the bezel, the face and the strap. Would you allow someone to mug you for it without resistance, and then say "Oh well. Since I really want it, I will let it go in the hope that the nice mugger will return it to me!".

I cannot imagin anyone saying yes to the above scenario, but if you did, please by yourself a nice Rolex. I need a new watch.

My other issues with this statement I guess revolve around the fact that just because someone (because the statement is really about a person), one can never be sure of the reasons that this person is returning to you. In the movie the two main characters do return to each other because they love each other, but lets be real, that's Hollywood. Life is rarely like that.

If someone returns to you it is likely to be because they are alone and know that they can find comfort with you. Or perhaps it is because they have nowhere else to go. At times it may even be because they are bored and having nothing better to do.

Even worse than all of these scenarios perhaps is the fact that the other person might get lost whilst trying to find their way back to you. And that is possibly the cruelest fate of all.

But I did say life is rarely like that. It is good to remember that there are occasional moments of inspiration.

I guess for a few, for the very small minority out there, this statement can come true. And if it does, it is something to be treasured, for we rarely get a second chance at the good things in our life.

I have learnt that the things in life I value, I need to fight for. It is only after fighting for them, that you then let it go free...

Knowning that just because it has returned, it does not mean that it has returned as yours.

Memories

One of the most treasured possessions any of us can ever have are our memories. Memories are powerful in that they can help shape our futures or have impact on us and how we interact with others.

My childhood memories are perhaps my most precious, and hence why I choose not to share them with people. For the lucky ones that I may have told anything, you can know that you are very special to me.

One memory in particular has shaped my relationship with my mother in my adult years, and perhaps if I had not been such a wild teenager, my mother would have had an even more perfect son. Thats right. I am not ashamed to admit it. I am a perfect son. And have been referred to as a 'Mommy's boy' on many occassions. Although I will not go into the details of what this memory is, I will say it showed me the depth of my mothers love not just for me, but for all her children and the sacrifices that she was willing to make in order to make us happy.

This memory has served not only to strengthen my relationship with my mother as an adult, but has also inspired me to try and be an even better parent to my son, to spend time with him, and create memories that will hopefully stay with him and keep us close in his adult years.

Similarly I have had negative experiences that have also shaped me as a person. I can remember being racially abused on a daily basis as a child, both physically and verbally, when I was at primary school. I had it from teachers, from parents, from class mates, and that too shaped me; and perhaps not for the best. I was always ready to fight. I would hear the sound 'Ni....' and it was fight on... For all I knew someone was trying to tell me 'Nice hair cut!'... but I was so accustomed to being called 'nigger', that is all I ever heard. These memories and experiences made me hard of heart and angry.

So what is my point?

Today, you will leave impressions and memories on people. You may not even be aware that you are doing so. My mother does not know the impression her memory left on me, I have never told her despite its huge impact. The question is will those memories be good ones or bad ones?

You have an opportunity in your dealings with people to shape their personalities and their lives, both future and present, but will you build them up or bring them down?

Truth or Lies?

'Do I look fat?'

A line I have heard in many a sitcom, and from different people over my lifetime. Sometimes I have to ask if that is actually a trick question. Of course, I am not stupid enough to utter those words audibly, but in my head I shout it so loud it positively reverberates throughout my entire body. But the question is, should I be honest? Should I tell the truth in a manner that is a bit more sensitive than the response in my head?

I used to think you should tell the truth at all times, but now I am not so sure. Telling the truth is a concept that should be motivated at lessening the pain to others as well as ourselves, but if saying nothing, or even telling an untruth is going to spare someones feelings, then I am beginning to see the legitimacy in that too.

I was told I see the world in black and white and failed to see the areas of grey, and there are those that would see this change in my thinking as a move from this position; but I don't.

The world is still black and white.

I am just still learning about the principles that guide it.

Hijacking the Hijab

Globally there is a debate going on regarding the wearing of the hijab. There are those that argue that to ban them as France is currently in the process of doing is religious discrimination, but is this entirely true?

In a nut shell, yes.

The hijab is not so much an article of dress, but a dress code covering the modesty of Muslim men and women. It just so happens that many mistakenly identify the clothing in all its forms as the hijab.

It is because of this it is conceivable to regard the banning of the hijab in all its incarnations as religious discrimination, however to ban only the niqab (the veil covering the face) would not purely because the Qur'an does not call for the donning of such garments, but instead requires that a khimar or head scarf is worn. The Qur'an advocates that nothing more than the hands and face should be seen in public as a matter of modesty, which in all honesty is not necessarily a bad thing. The covering of the head is a requirement in many religions such as Judaism and some branches of Christianity, and so is the call to dress modestly.

So why all the fuss over the hijab? National security is one explanation that has been bandied about, and I have to say, quite successfully even if unreasonably. The percentage of people that actually wear a niqab and commit acts of terrorism or violence is so minute that it is perhaps less than 1%. To impose a ban on its users all reeks of using a sledgehammer to crack a nut. Would you in light of the recent violence and riots in Ireland, advocate a ban on Irish accents? Not likely, as that would be to castigate the millions of innocent and law abiding Irish unfairly.

Then you have womens rights groups arguing that it is a symbol and instrument of suppression. And in some cases they may actually be right. I think it would be totally naive to even suggest that there are no Muslim men out there that would abuse and denigrate their women, and that the hijab is not a tool at their disposal. They use it to rob women of their identity and reduce them to faceless being. However, there are also Christian men that use the bible and texts within it to subjugate and censure their wives, should we then ban the bible because it is used wrongly by a minority of Christian men? It is the sad reality that we, in our humanity are prone to taking the most innocent of things and misusing them for our own corrupt reasons.

The niqab which some women wear as part of the hijab is a cultural garment, and as such could be banned without being considered a form of religious discrimination, but this then opens up the argument of it being racial discrimination.

It would seem to me that the hijab is being hijacked by both camps. There are some Muslim men that have usurped the code of modesty and are using it to repress women, but equally there are those that are exploiting the fear of terrorism, or those that are different are hijacking the hijab to further their political ambitions.

Credit where credit is due

I previously stated that the educational system is broken. A statement I stand by, however there is a story in the news today about a head teacher at a primary school that made over £270,000 last year and there is a huge furor over it.

Apparently he earns more than twice what David Cameron, the British Prime Minister.

So what?

His achievements perhaps show that his salary was justified. He took over a failing and under achieving school and has led it to receive and outstanding report from OFSTED. If David Cameron manages to take over what his Conservative Party labelled as 'Broken Britain' and change its fortunes around, then perhaps we can look at giving him a raise. In fact, maybe all politicians pay should be performance related, just imagine how much better things would be. Maybe they would think twice about claiming expenses for foolishness such as a moat around their home.

And then again, considering their arrogance, perhaps not.

Play Racist; Real Implications

Many years ago my sister played the Virgin Mary in her school play. It was claimed that it was a sign of how far the system has come. A black girl taking a lead role in the nativity play was meant to be an indication of how far people had gone to tackle the issue of racism within the British education system. But the cynic in me says that for them to cast a black person in the role of a pregnant and unmarried woman was not to hard a concept for people to reconcile.

I have attended two of my nieces school plays, and on both occasions I have left with a bitter taste in my mouth. It was great seeing my niece dressed up in her crazy costumes, trying to make up words to a song she was supposed to know, and looking around for her family and loved ones... But something was missing.

After the first play, I tried to convince myself it was a one off, but after the latest play I can no longer lie to myself in the vain hope that I can retain faith in my fellow man.

The education system is broken, and even more so it is unevenly balanced in the favor of those that are the majority in this country. Now, there are those that would say this system is fair, after all, not everybody can be pleased as so the majority should be catered for. That seems logical. It seems sensible.

But when the criteria for the majority is along the lines of colour then I have a problem.

You see, at both of my nieces plays there was the distinct absence of anybody from an ethnic background that took a lead role, a speaking role, or a role that was front and center on stage.

Ok, I exagerate.

There was the token ethnic. But even then she was one of the narrators placed in a dark corner so that her colour and heritage was so ambiguous that if I was asked where she was from I would not know, and if you asked me what color she was, I would be forced to respond 'grey'.

I have serious misgiving where there is no person from an ethnic background represented front and center stage as it provides nothing for young children from minorities to aspire to. As they look at those on the stage, instead of mirroring an image of their class, they see a landscape that would not be amiss is apartheid South Africa. Instead of being able to acknowledge, applaud and admire a cross section of their peers; both those that look like them and those that don't, they are instead a willing, even if unknowing ego boost for the white majority.

I guess its a matter of early preparation for the rest of their life.

I will undoubtedly be accused by some of being idealistic, or told that this is political correctness gone mad. However, let me say unequivocally, I do not believe in affirmative action as it laid out in the US of A. The concept that because you have one white cheerleader you must have a black one too is in my opinion insane if that black person is not qualified for the role. However, where there is under representation, and there are qualified people for the position I do believe an opportunity should be given.

Take for example my nieces play in which there were four snowflakes. Each snow flake could have been played by a child of a different race, dressed in white, as all the snowflakes did was turn in a few circles around a scare crow. (Please, don't ask. I already stated the education system is broken). Sadly, it appeared to me that skin color formed part of the costume and had to be white too.

A school play is not just something that is done to waste time. It is an important tool for expanding horizons (Drama, dance, music) , but it also gives children the opportunity to stand in the spotlight. To claim some accolade. To have people congratulate them and say well done. If children from ethnic minorities are not given this opportunity at a young age, or presented with the images of those from ethnic backgrounds being given this opportunity, then the chances of them being comfortable with the spotlight on them when they are older is decreased.

Looking at the stage at my nieces school play made me think back to my sisters role as Mary. If that nativity play was a sign of just how far things had come in the 1980's, then my nieces play only served to highlight just how much further things still need to go in the 21st century.

Isn't life funny?

Life is a funny thing but there is nothing funny about the election of a Conservative government.

But then again they were not elected were they? (Is that not the same accusation they threw at Gordon Brown?)

And how about Isreal killing those people on the aid ships and no sanctions were placed upon them or even proposed. Surely that was tantamount to an act of terrorism or at the very least an act of war.

Add to this that the British Royal FAmily is requesting an increase in the funding it gets from the tax payer at a time when many of the average British households are struggling to make ends meet. Perhaps if they decided to forego the caviar and other such trappings they would find things a lot easier. I really do look forward to the day I see Her Majesty in the queue in Lidl.

Still we know that will never happen.

Maybe life isn't so funny after all.

Countdown to Number 10

In just over a week, barring a major miracle it would seem, Britain will have a new Prime Minister. In fact, it will have a whole new government.

God forbid!

Labour are bad. There is no running away from the fact that they have made some mistakes during their time in power, but the other options really are so much worse.

David Cameron is on the side of the rich and powerful, as demonstrated by his desire to give a tax break to the rich, and to discard tax credits to those less well off. It makes a mockery of the Tory claim that under Labour Governments the gap between the rich and poor of Britain has increased, as even if it were true, it was not intentional as it would undoubtedly be under a Conservative government.

As for Nick Clegg... well the less said the better! (But yet you know I am going to go on and say something...) Nick Clegg in the latest televised debate reminded me of the school snitch. He simply stood in the middle of an arguing/debating Gordon Brown and David Cameron, and then every so often would chime and say to the audience (who sadly lapped it up), "See... look at them, they are arguing again!". He had nothing constructive to say, nothing new, and it appeared as though he didn't even know his own manifesto!

If this election were X-Factor, Cheryl Cole would no doubt be rooting for Nick Clegg, the young 'good looking' one with no talent. David Cameron is a Louis Walsh man... (Or should that be a man for Louis Walsh...) because Louis can actually make a little bit of talent reach a long way, and I feel that DC is over achieving. But Simon... Simon would have to be a Gordon Brown supporter... Simply because if its not about looks and talent should be the deciding factor, then in this competition, there can be only one winner.

However just as in X-Factor the final vote is live and it will come down to us the General Public, and sadly the Great British Public have not voted for talent lately. It seems to be presentation over substance...

And so begins our countdown to Number 10.

Here is to hoping Gordon remains there.

Greasing the Political Wheel...

So much has happened since my last blog that if I had the time to, I would share but frankly I have much more important things to discuss and that is the upcoming election.

Now I thing all politicians are about as straight as Ru Paul, but you do have to choose between the lesser of two evils. Its like being cornered in a prison shower by three prison inmates and told to pick up the soap: you are screwed either way... but you sure hope you get the one that uses vaseline!

The Conservative Party is like the prison bully: You know they prey on the fresh meat ie the weak

The Labour Party is like the prison fixer: You will eventually get what you want but you know there is a price to pay.

The Liberal Democrats are the prison snitch: You will trust the smiles, fall for the flowery words and crumble when they stab you in the back because you never saw it coming.

Now Gordon Brown is about as charismatic as... Well lets be honest he can't be compared to anything as he isn't charismatic at all. However unlike David Cameron and Nick Clegg he isn't campaigning like he is trying to win American Idol or X Factor, but is instead talking about the issues. Admittedly he hasnt made all the right choices since he began his tenure but he has done well.

In fact his first few months was a baptism by fire as he fought to deal with problems left by Tony Blair and screw ups by the civil service. Add to that a global recession through which he has steered and finally steadied the economy, and you will see that as boring as he is, Gordon is all about the issues.

So what about Nick Clegg and David Cameron? Well credit where credit is due. Both are adept at pointing out the flaws and mistakes that Gordon and the Labour Party have made, but they fail to supply realistic alternative answers. It is all well and good claiming that immigration is too high, but a quota is unrealistic. And as for saying that we are in a recession and it is all Labour's fault, besides being untrue, neither party has shown or indicated the ability to handle the economy.

I could go on and on... and at some later date I will.

All I shall for now is that as much as it is going to hurt I will be voting Labour...

Thank God for vaseline.

Diary of a Homeless Man Pt IV

Days five and six in the bedsit...

I am tired. I think my wfe is too. The only person that is wide awake and full of energy is the little man who is blessedly oblivious to everything. As for the cause of this fatigue I think it is due to a combination of factors of which having a baby is the smallest.

It was good to be visited by a friend today although we think she came more to see Little Man more than us; but we will claim anything that will remind us that we exist and are not forgotten. It was also nice to be sent some messages of support and have offers of help from people even though there is little that can be done to help us at present. Well unless you feel like cooking us dinner...

Since moving into this bedsit our diets have rapidly gone downhill. Cooking in such a small place in a room that serves as a bedroom, a kitchen, living room, dining room and everything in between is far from pleasant or even comfortable. Your clothes end up smelling of food and come the end of the week you end up with a scent reminiscent of your local take away. But don't get it twisted there is nothing wrong with my cooking or the way it smells, I just think that when it comes to fragrances I would rather leave that in Jean Paul Gaultier's hands.

I also think that be treated like children is beginning to weigh heavily on us adults. In fact even as a child I had more respect and responsibility. Whenever we leave we have to hand our room keys in at the reception desk. Maybe my memory serves me wrong but as a 12 year old child my parents gave me my own house key which I kept and was my responsibility. It is requirements like this that belittle and in some small way dehumanise people that are forced to stumble down this path. I don't think it would be so bad if it was not for the fact that you are painfully aware that there is a lack of privacy and that you are not afforded basic rights. In many ways we have be come less than a second class citizen.

Let me explain that last statement. If you were sitting in your house would you expect the post man to attempt to barge into your house without knocking and say, "Oi, Mate. I am here to deliver your mail, oh and I need you to sign for it.". Well something very similar happened not once but twice yesterday. The first time the man was unsuccessful as the door was locked. The second time we were not so lucky as the person had keys for the room. So there was my wife sitting there breast all out of doors feeding the baby when the door is just flung wide open and a stranger proceeds to enter into what to all intents and purposes is our home. Such things would not happen if I was living in a detatched house in suburbia or even a council flat on a ghetto estate in an inner city. And thus you have it: Britain's third societal tier.

This experience has shown me thus far that the needs of the different groups that are homeless are vastly different and as things stand unless you are young, single and "at risk" your needs are not met, considered important, or yet worse even identified. Sadly I think the latter is closest to the truth.

The challenge for me now is what can I do about it when I am in a position to divert energies into attempting to make a difference to status quo.

Diary of a Homeless Man Pt III

Day 3 in the bedsit house...

Well maybe not so much in it as out of it. We decided to venture out to church today so my mom picked us up. We ended up spending the day with her and my niece which was nice because we ended up with a nice, warm, home cooked meal. Little things like that we tend to take for granted are a rare and precious treasure when you lack the ability to have them on demand.

Oh! I almost forgot. We now have a working fridge in which we can keep things and boy was it needed. We have the window open all night (as well as one eye to make sure nobody climbs in said window) to get rid of the smell of tobacco as well as to try and cool the room down, but you may as well through an ice cube into the desert and expect it to become the arctic for all the effect it is having. Picture this if you will: you buy your wife/husband/significant other a chocolate bar as a treat and leave it on a shelf overnight. When you wake in the morning what you discover is that you did not buy your wife a chocolate bar but a chocolate milkshake. However it isn't all that bad having such a hot room. Drying clothes is quick and free!

We have decided that we are going to remain positive through all of this. Someone said to me today "These are the things that will bind you [me and the wife] together.". Although how they would know this seeing as they are as likely to be homeless as a black homosexual jew is likely to be Grand Dragon of the KKK. And if I am totally honest, i have to admit that I disagree with the sentiments of such a statement. Where as I do not believe it is things like this that will bind us together, I do believe that if we allowed it, it is things like this that would pull us apart.

It is this thought that makes me contemplate the different needs for different groups that are made homeless, and although there is a lot of help and concern for young, single people nobody seems to address the needs of the couples out there and the added stress and complications thatsingletons do not have to contend with. I can understand how people can become despairing and depressed if they find themselves in a similar situation to which I find myself.

But even now as I look at my little man curled up asleep on his mothers chest (who also happens to be asleep) I know despair is a luxury I cannot afford and depression is a road I will not travel. I have hope.

I have them.

Diary of a Homeless Man

Day two in the bedsit. (Imagine that said by the narrator of Big Brother!)

Well I guess its pretty apparent that nobody climbed through the window last night and killed us, although with the amount of sirens that I heard last night statistically speaking at least one of them should have been for me. The noise of emergency services sirens was incessant and did keep me up tossing and turning a fair bit in between changing diapers.

It was a pretty rough night for the little one. Perhaps he was feeling displaced or maybe like his parents he knows he shouldnt be here. Still, should and shouldn't dont play a part in any of this. All that matters is what is; and what is is that I and my fledgling family are homeless.

Everytime I say those words there is a flush as crimson as blood that floods my face whilst the searing heat of embarassment rushes from the soles of my feet to the crown of my head. the irony is not lost on me - a beggar with a crown? Could anything be more humiliating than having to say those words to anyone? Could anything de-masculate a man more than the failure to provide for his family their basic needs?

But self pity has no place in my life and my shame and embarassment is no longer for myself but for those that profess to be Christians. Those that would stand up and teach what it means to be a christian, those that would claim to baptise in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit yet at best be so cold, callous and insensitive? My plight is not of my own making and I will not let my circumstances allow me bury that fact under rightous self pity. The shame is on Newbold College and a number of people in positions of power within the Seventh Day Adventist Church to bear; it just so happens that my burdens arise out of their shameless actions.

The four walls that surround me will never dictate my worth no matter how small or how expansive they may be. Nor will the actions of loveless and compassionless people.

And so, for these reasons and a few others of which boredom was one, we spent the day walking around the local shopping district window shopping and talking. Ladies, if you feel like your husband is not listening to you then become homeless. then he has nothing else to do but listen to you! Still all things considered it was a pleasant day.

Now if I can just get past all the sirens, who knows - it may even be a pleasant night!

Diary of a Homeless Man

Well it is the first night in the bedsit. It is bigger and cleaner than I expected, but no matter how much air freshener they spray it cannot mask the smell of stale cigarette smoke that lingers like the pain of a bad break up.

After some creative packing we have managed to get our belongings arranged in a manner that will allow us to move around without stubbing our toes. That said, it would be a brave man or woman to walk around this place barefoot. No matter how pleasantly surprised I am by this place it is still a dive and I have no idea what happened in this room before we moved in. But judging by the drug dealers dealing without shame or fear right outside the door, and the young man high on the sofa in the foyer, I would understandably prefer to err on the side of caution.

There is no source of entertainment in the room, and seeing as the wife is still recovering from giving birth, there truly is no entertainment in this room! I guess I will ask my mom to drop off my TV and Playstation so we can watch some DVD's.

I have been debating with both the wife and myself whether its safe to open the windows and let some fresh air in in an attempt to shift the smell of tobacco that clings to everything in the room. Our final conclusion is that we are more likely to die from the overpowering smell of cigarettes than somebody climbing through the window and murdering us in our sleep for our possessions. Imagine that: if we don't open the window we will possibly become the first people in Britain to die from fourth hand smoke; and if we do open it and someone kills us for our possessions, well we actually found someone worse off than us. Damned if we do... Damned if we don't.

Part of me wonders why I am not more angry at Newbold or even the Seventh-day Adventist Church for placing me and my family in this position. I have been telling myself it is due to the fact we have a written apology from those heartless people that willingly and actively made me, my wife and my newborn baby homeless, but as I lie here in this squalor, displaced, poor, crowded and without a clue as to what tomorrow holds, I realize that I am strangely calm on the inside. I am at peace with myself, my God and my family despite the storm around me. Perhaps this is the peace that the bible talks of; a peace that will pass all understanding. Perhaps this is what it means to smile at the storm when Jesus is in the vessel. All I know is that more and more as every day goes by I become more and more aware that I am poor, but despite my poverty I am truly blessed beyond measure.

God has promised to provide my needs and I know he will.