Pimpology 101 Pt III

Invaluable to a pimp is his individuality. After all what makes you different to all those other pimps out there? In birds for example, it is the bird with the brightest colours; amongst pimps it is the pimp with the biggest yang and who knows how to wield it. Eight Inches and a woman will think your Don Juan. Ten Inches, she will be saying ‘Ay Papi’. Six inches, and you might as well sign up to the circus as a side show freak. However, as stated earlier, size is not the only criteria that matters. A pimp must know how to use his tool. New initiates to ‘The Game’ commonly refer to or make use of books such as the Kama Sutra, believing it to be the ultimate manual to the use of the tool; but a true O.P will understand that such books only give rough pointers. The best way to use your tool is with a lot of imagination and creativity; never underestimating the power of spontaneity, and to always have an open mind.

As mentioned earlier business meetings are invaluable to a pimp. It is advised that new pimps, or pimps that have relocated to a new area quickly find some of their colleagues that are already well established. Cartel’s such as Flipmode are an international institution with business in countries such as the US, Jamaica, Bermuda, Israel, and the UK. Their reputation is outstanding, and they are always willing to welcome new members with potential to their ranks. Joining such Cartels will give you automatic access to a chick pool, keep you informed of what is going on, and also provide you with a list of hags for when, due to unforeseen circumstances your chicks are unavailable and you need to buss a nut. Joining such cartels will also help you in your efforts to sign the exclusive pimping rights of chicks, such as members running interference, providing alibi’s when you are seeing your other chicks, and providing false character references. The latter reason is one example of why a pimp must make all efforts to stay anonymous.

Despite the glamour and benefits associated with being a pimp, one must not overlook the responsibilities of a pimp. Many references have been made to the chick pool, and rightly so for this is the well spring on which a pimp community survives. It is a pimps duty and responsibility to ensure that this valuable resource never dies or gets so low that all pimps within the cartel are rationed to having primary rights to one chick only. When this happens, scandals associated with companies such as Enron will occur on a large scale, and the less successful pimps will highly inflate the figures of the number of chicks they have rights to. When a pimp brings a chick into the chick pool, he opens up avenues to increase the chick pool, as all chicks have friends. Encouraging the initial chick to bring some friends along to meet your colleagues is one such way of expanding the chick pool. Admittedly the first encounter is a bit like a lucky dip, but during this initial encounter skilful pimps will manipulate the situation so that those that he has no interest in, will not attend future selection sessions. Eventually, he will have a scenario rather like a buffet or pick ‘n’ mix where he can select only those that he wants; and it is these that are brought into the chick pool.

Another responsibility of a pimp is to take responsibility of his children should he have any. As a community we do not advocate dead beat fathers for it is the duty of a pimp to teach all his sons the tricks of the trade, and to ensure that his daughters are educated so as not to end up in a chick pool. Some may argue that pimps educating their daughters about the tricks of the trade is defeatist and will eventually lead to the extinction of our community, nothing could be further from the truth. All such a practice does is weed out the weak from the strong; survival of the fittest in its purist form. A pimp must adapt to his surroundings or die.

Community responsibility is something that pimps take very seriously. As such any chicks within the chick pool with short comings must be reported to the cartel as soon as possible. This rule must not be broken even if it means reporting on one of your pleasure chicks. Such a practice exists not for personal reasons but for practical ones. For example, as unbelievable as this may sound, assume a chick did not like giving brain and one of your colleagues was looking for a brain surgeon and thought that she was a possible candidate. Valuable time would be wasted interviewing a chick who was not suitable to the post. Reporting such deficiencies within a chick as soon as possible only ensures that the cartel can be more productive and efficient. As a rule it does not lead to expulsion from the chick pool for the person in question.

In order to minimise occurrences such as the one given in the example above, it is important that as a pimp you only select chicks of the highest quality. As such fake chicks are usually dismissed as viable candidates for the chick pool. The only rubber a pimp expects to feel when he is with his chick is his Magnum.


Like any other occupation, pimping does have its draw backs. The biggest of these is job security. Pimping is a dog eat dog world, and unless your game is tight, you will be made redundant before you are even aware of it. However a pimp with tight game can have a job life until he needs viagra or until the day he dies, which ever should happen to come first. Hugh Hefner being a prime example. (Although real pimps do question the quality of his chick pool.) Other draw backs of the occupation are long hours, lack of social stability, and a high risk of personal injury.


Soon coming, Pt IV of Pimpology 101 inc. Glossary of terms.