Piggy Flu and X-Factor... Talk about sweet and sour!

Well well well... life sure is funny. Just when you think it can't get any harder, it suddenly does. My plate has been full of many personal issues right now, and despite having deadline to make, I get laid low with swine flu. That's right the dreaded piggy flu.

And ladies, if you thought man flu was bad... well wait till you see your man with swine flu. I swear if it came to a choice of swine flu and castration I would need about 2 seconds to consider my answer before I chose swine flu. But the mere fact that a man, any man - gay or straight - would even take the time to consider castration as a viable option should demonstrate the potency of this deadly disease!

But lets be realistic... although it might be considered, castration will never ever ever ever ever ever ... And once again I stress the ever, be chosen as a final outcome by any man. After all without his mini me a man is not a man, he simply becomes a woman in pants!

Anyhoo.. I am feeling much better as you can tell, so on to another topic... and one which is going to make me want to bang my head with frustration in the coming months... X-Factor! It is finally back... but what are those judges doing? Some of their decisions for the final twelve contestant would make a crackhead ask them where they got their 'good stuff' from. I mean come on Louis! Those twins. Seriously?

Simon Cowell was understating the matter when he called them vile and commented that they would sell their own mother for a chance on X-Factor. Not only are they vile they are talentless... So why Louis? Why??? The only explanation I could come up with is that Louis has a fantasy involving twins, and rather than sell their mother, those two Irish Chucky lookalikes sold something a lot closer to home.

Well I guess if they ever win X-Factor they could be the new face of Huggies diapers!

My money on the winner has to be Jaime. Thats right. I am making the early call for Mr Afro to come up good. I sure hope he does, because I don't think I have seen him cry yet... And I hate cry babies. So, let me translate that... I can't stand the rest of the contestants 'cause they cry to much. Waaaayyyy too much. Some of them I think auditioned for the wrong Simon Cowell show if you ask me. I think they got confused with Britain's Got Talent... To cry as much as they do is undoubtedly a talent. Forget Justin Timberlake's river, some of them have cried the Pacific Ocean and we haven't even reached the live shows yet. In the coming months expect a sudden and dramatic rise in sea levels!

Oh... this years Diana Vickers has to be that Welsh girl. I can just tell she is going to irritate me. Not that that is saying much. I get irritated by most things....